Conversation could save a life
Information about how to talk about suicide with the person you care for.
A conversation could save a life
Suicide is often surrounded by stigma which can deepen people’s feelings of shame and isolation.
These can stop people from getting the help they need.
That’s why it’s important that we all try to increase understanding and tackle the stigma around suicide.
It’s a common belief that asking someone about suicide might make it more likely to happen.
But, research shows that it is not dangerous to ask.
If the answer is yes, the person with thoughts of suicide can be supported, asking can make them feel seen, relieved and less alone. If the answer is no, no harm is done.
How to ask
If you’re worried about someone, encourage them to talk to you.
Start a conversation about why you are worried about them.
Be open about your concerns and if you have reason to believe they might be experiencing thoughts suicide ask directly.
Asking about suicide will not put the idea into someone’s head.
“I am really worried about you and need to ask you if you have been thinking about suicide”
Asking these questions can feel challenging.
How to respond
Responding with time, space and compassion can make all the difference:
Time
Don’t rush the conversation. Let it unfold naturally
Space
Create an environment where they feel safe to talk. Suggest going outside for a walk
Compassion
Acknowledge their pain, use phrases like, “That sounds really hard.”
Don’t worry about not having all the answers.
Showing someone that you care by asking how they are, listening to what they have to say and taking them seriously is the most helpful thing you can do.
“It must have been hard to share this with me, thank you.”
Really take the time to hear what is going on for them and why they have come to feel suicide is an option.
Remember that if the answer is no but you are still worried, you can always ask again later.
If they push you away
It can be hard when someone refuses help or withdraws – and this is particularly challenging when it is someone you care for.
Remember that resistance can be a sign of distress, not rejection.
Stay patient and consistent.
Explain why you were worried and listen to what the person has to say.
You might say, “I’m here when you’re ready,” or “I care about you, even if we don’t talk right now.”
Even if they don’t accept support today, knowing you’re there tomorrow can be life-saving.